Meaningfully Sorry
by DifferentIndifference
Summary: How long will it take for Jack to be meaningfully sorry for killing Steven... will it bo too late?


_Hallelujah _by _Jeff Buckley _played quietly in the background but when they fell silent the sad ballad filled the room. It was dark. Jack and Alice sat on the sofa. After a heated argument they had come to this. Crying. So helpless, so scared, they sat there in each other's arms.

Jack – the awful father who killed his grandson.

Alice – the unforgiving daughter who hated her father.

Jack hated himself for killing Steven but he needed Alice to understand and, truthfully, it there had been another child he would have used that. Wrong time wrong place. That's Jack's life.

Alice hated herself because of her dad. She wanted nothing more than a normal family and a normal life but being the daughter of Captain Jack Harkness that wasn't going to happen.

Alice turned herself around so she was facing away from Jack, not that see could see him in the dark. Jack sat behind her and put an arm over her shoulder. Last time he sat like that was when Ianto died and they were in the chilling hall overlooking his cold body. Jack hated that day, if only he hadn't taken Ianto with him, if only he hadn't been so _greedy, _if only… the list went on and on and on. Every ending, never faltering. If only Alice would understand. Maybe it was worse for him – he lost his lover, grandson, friend and he was losing his daughter. He hated himself.

'Alice' he said quietly.

Alice ignored him. Why had he even come around in the first place?

'Alice, please. I'm sorry.' Said Jack, his throat coarse form crying.

'What do you want me to do dad? Forgive you for ruining my life or love you for saving this god-forsaken planet?' spat Alice.

'I want you to understand I need you to understand.'

'You killed my Steven. I will never understand how you could take his life.'

'I'm sorry…' Jack started crying again.

'He was 8 years old.' Alice cried. 'You could have used someone else but your own grandson. It had to be him didn't it? It had to bloody well be him.'

'You know I couldn't…' pleaded Jack.

'Just go.' Jack's face dropped. 'Get out of my life.'

Jack reached out to touch Alice but she moved away. Arguing was getting them nowhere. Jack wanted nothing more than to keep Alice safe. He couldn't lose her. But she wouldn't accept it. Not after Steven. Jack stood up and walked over to the door. He placed a hand on the door frame and looked at his daughter.

'If you hate me, why did you let me in? Why did you let me hold you?'

'I thought you'd come to apologize. Even after we talked. I still thought you could meaningly say sorry.'

'Alice…'

'Just go dad.' Alice turned herself around to face her dad. 'Go and get out of my life.;

Jack left. Walking away. Walking away from his daughter. Waking away from his daughter and the only chance of forgiveness. He was going to say sorry to Alice, meaningfully. But he just needed time. But… time… was… running… out…

_Years later…_

Jack, the unchanged man of the universe, ran up the steps to Alice's house. He rang the doorbell and a young woman answered.

'May I help you?' she asked.

Jack couldn't believe it.

'Is Alice in?'

'I think you've got the wrong address.'

She closed the door. A tear made its way down Jack's face. Alice was gone.

The church year was silent and cold. The rain beat down. The gravediggers were lowering a coffin into the ground. That poor soul inside the coffin – no one had turned up to the service. No one even knew they were dead. In the background stood Jack. Hundreds of snail trails down his face. Someone had turned up to see the deceased leave. The victim's dad had turned up…

_A week earlier…_

The clock chimed 2 in the morning and the kitchen was lit by a single candle. Alice was stood behind it in her favourite dress. Silence. Alice put her arm above the candle and let the flame lick at her skin, she cried a few tears. Not with pain but the sadness of what she was about to do. She drew the blade and held it level. Level with her arm. She cut it deep and let eh blood colour the candle putting it out like her life. Then she fell… fell to the ground and fell to death…

Jack walked over to the new grave and knelt down not taking his eyes off the plaque. He kissed his fingers and touched the cold metal.

'I'm sorry.'

Meaningfully sorry.


End file.
